This is a site where I can express my thoughts, feelings, passions as well as share my life with whoever chooses to listen.
This morning, Hanna, Emilee, Jessica, and I were going through a study over prayer. We took turns reading and when we were done we started sharing our different thoughts about the study. I thought I would share mine here.
The power of praising God first in my prayers. I’ve encountered quite a lot bad or crap situations in my few years of life and I used to, after every bad thing that happened, look at God and say “Why are you doing this to me? What did I do to deserve this? Do you not love me? I can’t handle this” I would start to doubt his love for me and become bitter, thinking that he didn’t really love me or care for me. How selfish and ignorant I was and still am sometimes. To answer my own questions…. he doesn’t do anything bad to me, he only works for my good-Romans 8:28. He is most likely preparing me for something much bigger than myself. Preparing me to use the negative parts of my life in order to minister or share him with a person going through something similar. He’s allowing me more ammunition to bring him more glory in those situations. The next one is funny…. lets see what did I do to deserve painful situations in life…. umm let’s see… it’s call sin, Caitlin. You do it everyday and sometimes without even thinking about it. I’m not perfect. I fail everyday. The pain I feel in this life is nothing compared to what Jesus felt on the cross, so why should I feel like God is against me when bad things happen. My pain in this life is so small and insignificant when compared to the pain that I deserve for my sin. I deserve hell. I deserve an eternity separated from the only constant love and joy in this world, God. However, God loves me and his other children so much that he provided the cross, the ultimate sacrifice, the path to heaven. The day I accepted him into my heart and believed that Jesus died on the cross for me was the day that I realized that I was the luckiest girl in the whole world because I knew that I would have forever with my God. There’s a song… most everyone knows and one of the lines in the song says this, “What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy. What if trials of this life… The rain, the storms, the hardest nights are your mercies in disguise?” He allows us so much mercy by giving us Jesus. My BSM director once said this… “We give God qualities like merciful, gracious, just, loving, etc. But those categories aren’t enough to describe God. He’s not merciful, he IS MERCY. He’s not gracious, he IS GRACE. He’s not just, he IS JUSTICE. He’s not loving, HE IS LOVE.” Again, how selfish, ignorant, and human and I to think that I shouldn’t deserve pain. God is already having mercy on me beyond measure. The last one… Do you not love me? and I can’t handle this… 1 Peter 3:17-18 says “For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit.” Hebrews 12:11 says “No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.” Hebrews 2:8 says “For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.” Job said this (job 1:21) “And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” 1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” Finally, Romans 8:18 says “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” Even though we go through trials and pain, God will never leave us. He will never forsake us, he will always watch over us. Psalm 121:7 says “The Lord will keep you from all harm, he will watch over your life.” Romans 8:38-39 says “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” He will love and protect me though everything in this life BECAUSE he loves me. Back to my point…. if I am praising God at the beginning of every prayer, moment, situation then Satan doesn’t even have time to speak those lies to me. Because even during all the crap that is the earthly life, God is so incredible good. Through all the pain, he is still God. He is still all we need. He is still all we could ever want. He is still the provider of everything in our life. In the bad times especially… I need to praise God because at the end of the day, he’s all I need. I cannot even begin to explain how good it is to know that I will always have that.
Stranger: What are you reading there?
Myself: I am reading by bible, specifically the book of Genesis.
Stranger: That's the one where God created everything right?
Myself: Yup, that's it.
Stranger: Do you really believe that? You believe he created everything including you? You believe that he created you from a man's rib?
Myself: I do.
Myself: Because, six years ago I heard a story and it changed my life.
Stranger: What story?
Myself: The story of Jesus. What he did. How he lived. Why he lived. Why he died.
Stranger: O yeah.. the guy that "never" sinned.
Myself: The one and only
Stranger: I like you. Can we meet next week and you can tell me this story?
Myself: If you want, sure.
Stranger: My name is Kyle, by the way.
Myself: Mine's Caitlin.
Kyle: He died on a cross didn't he? People killed him?
Myself: Yeah, yeah they did.
Kyle: I've been having dreams about a guy dying on a cross. Then I saw your bible and I thought I'd find out what all the fuss is about.
Myself: Well I'd be happy to tell you all about the fuss.
Kyle and I worked out the details and I'll be meeting with him next week to tell him all about the "fuss" that is the gospel. How incredible is God that he can seek out the lost and work in their hearts without them having any real exposure.
For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ. -2 Corinthians 4: 6