Childlike Joy

I’m back in America and settling back into the busy schedule of life and I’m realizing how burned out I already am and it’s just started.  So this is a very raw and real cry of my heart.  A cry to my father, my best friend, my healer, my safe place, my everything.

Daddy there is no one else for me. None but you.  In the chaos and confusion I know that you are sovereign still.  My heart is heavy and my soul is weak and this is when I know that you will shine through me.  You boast in my weakness and use my weaknesses to show others your incredible strength.  I confess that I am sinful and awful and I do not deserve one second of your love.  But you still do. You still love me. You still look at me every morning and tell me that your mercies are new.  You show me in the littlest ways how much you love and cherish me.  It overwhelms my entire being to know that I have done absolutely nothing to deserve your love.  Nothing.  I am nothing with you.  I was dead and you gave me life.  I was broken and you made me whole.  I was sick and you healed me.  For those reasons and so many more I should wake up each day and live my life for you.  Devote my every minute to praising your name and bringing you glory.  Daddy I am so sorry.  Tears are streaming down my face because everyday I fail you.  Everyday I choose things of this world over you.  I choose money, school, friends, family, education, clothes, television, food, and so much more.  Some of these things are so good that they are deceiving.  Everything I do should be for your glory and for your name.  I give my time and energy to things that have absolutely no value.  They mean nothing.  My every breath should be shouting your praise.  This world has nothing for me.  It only leaves me with emptiness and tears in my eyes.   I look at my brokenness and my heart breaks because I know that I am giving into this world.  I look at the brokenness of this world and my heart shatters because I know that so many of the people do not know your name.  I know that people near and dear to my heart do not have the comfort that I have in you.  They do not know what is like to be chosen by a great and mighty King for absolutely no reason.  They do not know what it means to have a Savior. There are people who pray to you and go to church and yet they still don’t know your unfathomable limitless love.  There are whole nations that are living in constant darkness never having heard your story.  The story of one man, your son, who gave everything so that we could know you.  He lived a perfect faultless life just to pave a way for us to hear your name.  He died the worse death possible so that we could one day sit at your thrown.  You traded your righteousness for shame and I am caught in your intimate embrace.  Nothing compares to this Love.  Nothing can separate me from you.  Not death or life.  No Angel or Demon.  Not the present or the future.  No power. No height. No depth. Nothing in this world.  Nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate me from your Great Love.  So take my life.  Make it into something beautiful.  Make it into something that will bring you glory.  You have given me a Love that surpasses all of my understanding.  My puny human mind will never be able to comprehend your Love for me.  That’s my favorite part.  The fact that I will Never be able to understand.  It is by faith.  By faith I have been saved.  By faith I love you with all of my existence.  By faith I come back and kneel at your feet when I’ve failed you.  By faith I repent and start anew.  By faith I have the boldness to be humiliated, shamed, and judged just so one person may come to know you.  You are so beautiful and perfect.  I confess my need for you.  My eyes grow weary and my soul is weak.  I feel like this world could come crashing down on me at any moment.  Worry consumes my thoughts and my strength is failing me because of my affliction.  Even in the midst of this I trust you O Lord!!  I say that ‘You are MY God!”  Shine your light on me and my path.  Save me once again in your unfailing love.  Let the enemy be silenced.  Let my heart praise you through trials and hardship for I know that your will is perfect.  I know this path is narrow and less traveled but greater is the reward and more breath-taking the journey.  Let me find my rest in you and your word.  Your word, a letter written to me in my time of need.  A letter to reveal your person to me so that I may come to believe in you and to truly Know you!   A truth that sets me free from all the bondage of this life.  I will hold on to my hope and take courage again in knowing that you have already fought the battle and obtained victory.  I have Victory in you.  All of my failures and all of my fear… The God I love, You Have overcome.  All my heartache and all my pain… God my healer, You Have overcome.  All my  burdens and all my shame… God my freedom, You Have overcome.  All my trouble and all my tears… God my hope, You Have overcome!  Let my heart take refuge in you.  Through this world and all of its distractions let my heart remain still at the feet of your cross.  Let my soul be in rest and worship you.  Jesus I love you.  No words will every be able to fully express the emotions I have for you.  I love you… just doesn’t seem to be enough.  I am going to try to express my love for you even though I know it will just sound ridiculous when compared to the Love you have for me.  Daddy I will give you more than my words.  I give you my life.  I am your daughter.  Your are my King.  With every thing in me I long to worship you.  I long to sit in your thrown room and cry out to you.  I am constantly thinking about the day that finally get to see your face and sometimes I think that I will just run and jump into your arms because I am so happy.   But I know that I will be so absolutely overwhelmed with my Love for you that I will fall on my knees and praise you.  On my death bed I will have no fear or tears.  Whether peaceful or painful, I will have a smile on my face because I will know that in a matter of minutes I will see your face.  Your beautiful breathtaking face.  I will laugh and cry out in joy because I will finally able to fully do what I have been created to do.  Worship you.  I get to worship you for eternity.  Eternity.  There is not one moment that crave to stay on this earth.  I yearn for your kingdom.  I yearn for Heaven.  I yearn for you My Lord, My Savior, My Dad, My Everything.